Point 9 Mediator

The growth edge for the Point 9 Mediator is learning to set boundaries and be direct.

"Peace and harmony."

Strengths

  • Caring
  • Steadfast
  • Accepting
  • Receptive
  • Adaptable
  • Supportive
  • Empathic
  • Harmonious
  • Attentive to others

    • Mediator path symbol


    Where Attention & Energy Go Against Personal Growth

  • Control through stubbornness and passive anger
  • Difficulty saying 'no' - attending to the needs of others
  • Difficulty with personal decisions - Do I agree or disagree?
  • Ability to recognize and support many other viewpoints
  • Acting through habit - repeating familiar solutions to the situation
  • Containment of anger and physical energy around own needs
  • Belief that one can gain belonging/comfort by 'forgetting the self'
  • Focus energy on sensing and merging to fulfill wishes of the other
  • Replacement of own essential needs with inessential substitutes
  • The tone and color of these tendencies will vary depending upon your instinctual subtype

    • Fixations

    • Indolence
    • Sloth

    Higher Aspects

    • Action
    • Love






    What Supports Personal Growth

    • Pay attention to own needs and well being, and personal growth barriers
    • Practice healthy self esteem - loving myself as well as I love others
    • Accept change and discomfort as a natural part of life for personal growth
    • Use anger as a signal of feeling discounted and remind myself that I really do matter
    • Consider accelerating your progress with personal growth counseling
    • Notice when prolonged thinking keeps me from setting priorities and taking action on them
    • Notice feelings that may be blocked out by turning from real priorities to substitutes such as, TV, food, chores, errands

    Enneagram Mediator Look-Alikes

    Point 2 & 9 -- Both want to please and meet others needs, lose awareness of own needs
  • 9's - Reactive, blend in, disperse energy to create comfort, image unchanged
  • 2's - Active, focus attention on what others need, alters to meet those needs, alters image

    • Point 4 & 9 -- Both connection focused, caring, can get 'lost,' feel deficient, self-deprecating
  • 9's - Orient toward others, blend in, like to keep life steady to keep it comfortable, avoid conflict
  • 4's - Orients toward self, attached to being special, goes to extreme depths in order to feel vital

    • Point 5 & 9 -- Both can be retracted, inwardly thoughtful, withdraw from external influences
  • 9's - Least able to detach, blends with others and goes along to keep life harmonious / comfortable
  • 5's - Detaches from others, asserts boundaries in self-protection

    • Point 7 & 9 -- Both want to please and meet others needs, lose awareness of own needs
  • 9's - Point 9 Mediator is reactive, blends in, disperses energy to create comfort, image unchanged
  • 7's - Active, focus attention on what others need, alters to meet those needs, alters image

    • Summary - Point Nine - Mediator


    The Point 9 Mediator is an anger point, whose anger went underground early on in life. Feeling they were the 'forgotten' children, set up a dynamic of falling asleep to their own inner needs, priorities, and dreams. Their anger is not expressed outwardly as it is with the eights, but more passive/aggressive.

    The Point 9 Mediator anger is typically expressed indirectly, such as a tendency to control through stubbornness. There is often an inability to literally say 'no' and difficulty not knowing where they stand because they see all the different sides of an issue.

    The Mediator will often merge with the wishes of others and their environment as a whole, and lose themselves in the process. They will blend in or accommodate to their environment as a defense strategy. This causes the Nines to suppress any part of themselves they feel others might see as disagreeable. Since this can cause other people to overlook or discount them, it will also cause resentment and anger, triggering old childhood wounds, of having been 'forgotten.'

    The automatic style of the Point 9 Mediator can become conciliatory, conflict-avoidant, and accommodating.

    The healthy Point 9 Mediator has a natural ability to mediate, resolving conflict with diplomatic skills. There can also be a deep personal modesty, a stable and unassuming simplicity of thought and action.

    There is an ability to state difficult truths to others without them becoming defensive and reactive. Others may be unconditionally accepted by the Nine, and this is often rooted in their ability to love and be spacious. The healthy Nine has learned to give this same love to themselves. They have also learned to create and maintain boundaries for themselves in the face of conflict without giving themselves away, and they become the focus of their own agenda.

    Learn how a Point 9 Mediator can benefit from the upcoming Enneagram Panel Workshop.