Point 2 Giver - Recognizing My Own Needs

The growth edge of Point 2 Giver is learning to recognize their own needs.

"Approval is love."

Strengths

  • Giving
  • Helpful
  • Generous
  • Exuberant
  • Supportive
  • Expressive
  • Appreciative
  • Sensitive to others

    • giver path symbol


    Where Attention & Energy Go Against Personal Growth

  • Gaining approval and avoiding rejection by adapting to the wishes of others
  • Point 2 Giver takes pride in meeting the needs of others and being important to them
  • Confusion in identifying personal needs, which can be personal growth barriers
  • Focus on altering oneself to meet others' needs creates confusion between the many selves
  • Belief - one gains love, fulfillment of needs by giving to important others, hoping they'll give back
  • The tone and color of these tendencies will vary depending upon your instinctual subtype

    • Fixations

    • Flattery
    • Pride

    Higher Aspects

    • Freedom
    • Humility






    What Supports Personal Growth

    • Set boundaries
    • Allow self to receive from others
    • Practice healthy self esteem
    • Maintain clarity on authentic personal growth
    • Acknowledge dispensability and that it's okay
    • Notice when helpfulness seems intrusive and controlling to others
    • Use anger and rising distress signals to see needs are not being met
    • Realize that being loved does not depend on changing self for others.
    • Consider accelerating your progress with personal growth counseling

    Enneagram Giver Look-Alikes

    Point 5 & 2 -- Both are sensitive & giving to others and don't know their own feelings
  • 2's - Sustains giving, almost always moving into connection to meet needs & loses boundaries
  • 5's - Periods of giving/responding are intermittent, needs to disconnect to protect and recharge

    • Point 6 & 2 -- Both are warm, anxious, disarming - sensitive and deferring to others' wants
  • 2's - Moves forward with active energy focus on others, identity of self is based in giving
  • 6's - Warily holds back, doubting self/others, spurning indispensability, give to get security

    • Point 7 & 2 -- Both are active, upbeat, charming, selective in relationships, want to be liked
  • 2's - Point 2 Giver alters to meet the emotional needs of others
  • 7's - Keeps separate, oriented to own needs, easily gets self-absorbed into intellectual pursuits

    • Point 9 & 2 -- Both want to please and meet others needs, lose awareness of own needs
  • 2's - Active, focus attention on what others need, alters to meet those needs, alters image
  • 9's - Reactive, blend in, disperse energy to create comfort, image unchanged

    • Summary - Point Two - Giver


    Point 2 Giver is focused on what they believe others want or need from them in life to succeed. It is by being associated with this important other that the two feels approved of, accepted and loved.

    Givers can have an uncanny ability to alter themselves in order to become what they believe the other would like for them to be. This point is often the 'power behind the throne,' preferring to be in the background to support the important other vs being center stage themselves.

    Giving is in hopes that they might be given back to and a desire of being recognized.

    There is confusion in identifying their own personal needs, while having great pride in knowing the needs of someone else. People with this style have developed a habit of extending themselves energetically toward another and intuitively sensing what another might be feeling or needing.

    Uses flattery, seduction and manipulation to get others to respond to them favorably, but only those they deem worthy of their attention. A sense of inflation can develop with an exaggerated sense of importance in their contributions to others, and their giving can come with a high invisible price tag.

    The healthy Point Two can give and care for others, yet return to their own emotional truth and attend to their own needs even if isn't in alignment with an important other.

    They recognize that being loved does not depend on giving up their self for others. Have learned that to have needs themselves is a part of life.

    Point 2 Giver grows by discovering what they want, and by being alone.

    Learn how a Point 2 Giver can benefit from the upcoming Enneagram Panel Workshop.