Point 4 Romantic

The growth edge of Point 4 Romantic is appreciating who they are and what they have.

"Something's missing."


  • Idealist
  • Intense
  • Creative
  • Sensitive
  • Romantic
  • Authentic
  • Passionate
  • Introspective
  • Emotional Depth
  • Empathic
  • Romantic path symbol

    Where Attention & Energy Go Against Personal Growth

  • Feelings of abandonment and loss
  • An attachment to the mood of melancholy
  • Energy focused on push-pull in relationships are just one way they create personal growth barriers
  • Attraction to whatever is distant or unavailable
  • Impatience with the 'flatness' of ordinary feelings
  • The need to intensify one's feelings through loss, fantasy and dramatic acts
  • Sensitivity to other people's emotionality and pain with a great ability to support others in crisis
  • Believing one 'regains' the ideal love through searching for unique, special, missing love
  • The tone and color of these tendencies will vary depending upon your instinctual subtype

  • Fixations

    • Envy
    • Melancholy

    Higher Aspects

    • Equanimity
    • Original Source

    Enneagram Romantic Look-Alikes

    Point 6 & 4 -- Both are contrary, magnify situations, anit-authority, break rules, self-doubt
  • 4's - Attracted to deep feelings, wants emotional affect, expansive, looks for what is missing
  • 6's - Counterphobic - doesn't want to be trapped in feelings/longings, looks for what might go wrong
  • Point 7 & 4 -- Both intense, idealism, stimulating, attention on what they want, think, feel
  • 4's - Point 4 Romantic goes into melancholy, deep feelings, accepts pain as a part of life
  • 7's - More upbeat, pleasure-seeking, avoid pain and negative feelings when possible
  • Point 8 & 4 -- Both intense, direct expression, flamboyance, want authenticity, oppositional
  • 4's - Moves deeply to feelings and falls into inaction and loses direction
  • 8's - Sustains action with considerable energy, refusing to be dominated by feelings
  • Point 9 & 4 -- Both connection focused, caring, can get "lost," feel deficient, self-deprecating
  • 4's - Orients toward self, attached to being special, goes to extreme depths in order to feel vital
  • 9's - Orient toward others, blend in, like to keep life steady to keep it comfortable, avoid conflict

  • Summary - Point Four - Romantic

    The Point 4 Romantic is in search for what they feel is missing. Feeling a sense of dissatisfaction with life as it is, ---- nothing  is good enough, including themselves. This point is often attracted to the distance and unavailable which creates a theme of intensifying one's feelings through loss, fantasy and abandonment. A mood of melancholy that sometimes can spiral down into deep depression and a sense of hopelessness.

    The Point Four strives to experience the depth of feelings in search of authenticity and connectedness with self and source. While there is an intensity to feelings with a desire to be affected emotionally, the four may also not know what their true feelings are, mistaking them for reality or truth. Melodrama can be a substitute for authentic feelings.

    There is a push-pull habit of attention that alternates between the negative features of what one has and the positive features of what is unavailable. There is a tendency towards image-confusion expressed paradoxically. Fours are likely to see themselves as lacking and feel inadequate to succeed in the everyday world, while at the same time feeling special, unique and elitist.

    Many Romantics are artists, or have a deep desire to find creative outlets for self-expression. Dealing with the mundane and ordinary can make a Four moody and hypersensitive, feeling like the rules don't apply to them.

    A healthy Point 4 Romantic can be empathetic with friends, willing to listen to their feelings of pain, and make excellent therapists. There is a tendency to be idealistic and great appreciators of beauty. Pursuit of self-knowledge and self-expression are high priorities, with a desire to connect emotionally and authentically.

    Point 4 Romantic grows by appreciating and feeling satisfied, knowing what they have is enough.

    Learn how a Point 4 Romantic can benefit from the upcoming Enneagram Panel Workshop.