Couples Counseling - Fresh Solutions

Couples Counseling Photo

In couples counseling, there's a gentle reminder that's revisited: Relationships don't build themselves; they require regular and consistent attention, and nurturing.

A common frustration for couples with traditional psychotherapy is the number of sessions required for the counselor to gain a comprehensive understanding of the underlying motivations of each partner.  With the Enneagram, the underlying motivations are clearly known in the first few counseling sessions.

The Enneagram is an incredibly effective counseling tool, precisely because not only are the motives of each partner on the table, but also the particular dynamic of knowing how to work with the specific combination of Enneagram Points, which provides advance knowledge of the how and why of clash points, and harmony points with the couple.

Enneagram - Enhanced Counseling Process

Couples Counseling Client Quote

So using the Enneagram in couples counseling is a tremendous advantage, because the couple is not stuck spinning around the same issue. Instead, the Enneagram counselor guides the couple to see exactly where each partner can access their strength to reach higher ground in the relationship. Additionally, couples report their capacity for compassion increases for their partner, which facilitates unique progress in their relationship.

Most people experience how the specific accuracy of the Enneagram enhances the counseling process, because it clearly outlines the essential dilemmas and challenges couples face. While communication skills are important, the ability to listen, and so forth, if each partner in the relationship doesn't comprehend the childhood wounding and trigger points for each person, it's like trying to listen without ears.

Couples know how pressure can build, emotions can increase and before you know it a myriad of misperceptions run wild, and the relationship falls in jeopardy. When each partner knows their respective Enneatypes a sense of objectivity and truth can precede, often creating understanding before emotions escalate beyond control.



How Couples Counseling Works

When we project on to our partner we have a misreading of reality that is rooted specifically in our Enneatype, creating an unconscious defense mechanism, which tends to blame others, rather than recognizing our responsibility. Projection works both in the positive and in the negative. For example, on partner might say, "You make me so happy!" Or, "You're driving me crazy!" 

One of the beauties of couples counseling, especially when both partners know the issues they need to improve upon, is having both partners work on their issues simultaneously.

Couples counseling with Barbara often works like this:  Sometimes you'll meet together as a couple for all sessions, but depending on the circumstances, each partner may have private sessions, and then come back together again later in the counseling process.


couples-counseling or Call 541-318-1981